Hey all . I'm in school and hanging in there.

I'm a common target of bullying. I'm very quiet and non-assertive, coupled with a past of being bullied by siblings, parents, and family members, not to mention peers. I'm basically the person people love to reject and ostracize. I was taught to be the bigger person, so I just take it in silence and focus on other things. The bullying doesn't stay long, but neither goes away. Since this is getting kind of dark, I'll make sure this has a trigger warning.

I've had a couple of issues with two teachers, but I'm worried I'm jumping to conclusions by thinking they're bullying me. I didn't think it was bullying at first, but near the end of the semester, I'm starting to change my mind.

One teacher ignores me completely. They stare at each student they talk to instead of me. They go out of their way to avoid me. Now, a lot of the students in class have probably noticed it and that will explain why none of them want to interact with me anymore.

I was just a regular student, and I don't know why I deserve this. I don't stand out as a student, and people say that I'm very quiet and trustworthy. I don't know why she's been doing this. I keep up with assignments and understand and do just as much as my peers. She is always nice when she talks to me, which makes me change my mind about her being a bully, but when I ask for help, she tries to get other people to help me, and before sweetly helping me, acts exasperated that I need her help. She often helps me last. One time I was waiting for 30 minutes, stuck on something, for her help. She ignored me for a long time helping other students. I tried asking other people beforehand, but they were all trying to ignore me. They didn't used to be like that.

I've been wondering if she's bullying in a passive-aggressive manner. She'll be nice to me so no one can say she isn't, but will ostracize me from the class and turn people against me to lower my self-esteem. When I ask her for help, she always assumes I know very little about the subject despite what I've demonstrated so far. She made a loud, angry complaint about how some students are dragging her down by needing too much help, and then came straight over to me to help me and started (politely) trying to come up with all the problems I have, which she had to rescind every time after realizing I didn't have those problems. Like I said, I'm a good student who keeps up with her work. I hate having to mention that yes, I don't need a ton of help and am not needing more than my peers. It's a tricky class that the teacher has to help everyone with to some extent.

Another teacher sent a nasty e-mail to me about how I missed some assignments and the problems or emotional problems I must have. They apologized later and kind of chuckled to themselves how they were surprised I came back to class, but they haven't bothered me since. Well, I asked for help understanding something once and they acted very annoyed, despite asking us often to ask them when we don't understand something and that there's no "dumb question," but I assumed it was at the end of the day and they were tired.

What should an adult do in this situation? Should I ignore these teachers and focus on learning? Are they not bullies and I'm being a little paranoid? Should I say something? Like I said, I'm not assertive, and one of the reasons why I avoid confrontation is because I have trouble making friends and have very little social power if things go sour, other than protections offered to students by the university.

I should note that I have an anxious mindset, especially certain months and years, and I'm in that mindset now. The idea that I'm being bullied is really making me anxious about the class. I wish I didn't have to them anymore, although I really like the subject.