You're not disgusting! I think it's really good for someone to be positively sexually aware and enjoy them selves, and not be afraid to fantasize. You don't realize how common your childhood sexual experiences are. Like I said, most people don't remeber it because they were unaware of the sexual connotation of their actions, but I know a few people who were well aware, and there is NOTHING wrong with that, as long as no one was hurt. Sometimes just the awareness of what we are doing makes us feel guilty, but it's not necessary. I didn't realize how common these experinces were either until I read about it in psychology books and talked to friends that had actually had intercourse voluntarily with other children. It's part of learning to be human. It's unfortunate when we are made to feel guilty for expressing pleasure... you have no reason to feel tainted or ashamed. Just keep working through it.

BTW, my avatar is a pastel self-portrait, I just scanned it and shrunk it. It's part of a pastel series of "X-rays". I'm glad you like it!