Hey, thank you people for replying. Sorry I forgot to check my replies.
Anyway, as what you asked pppp3, if I had to summarize my problem and what I want to accomplish in 3-5 lines...

I am having problem with my emotions and feelings, mainly a lot of negativity. It's always there in my head and I'm thinking about it and trying to figure out why I seem to 'like' those negative feelings when I experience them. I guess what I hope to accomplish is to share this, and get opinions and discussions on it, to help me figure it out and understand myself.

Hope this helped.