Quote:
Originally Posted by just2b
Am wondering if anyone out there has experience of being so disconnected from people, ( except those of family and close friends) if you see yourself in a friendship, and or relationship (romantic) ever?
I have not been in any kind of friendship or relationship for the past 9 years, and feel at times it will not happen with me that I find anyone to be with romantic or friendship wise. I think it is certainly because of what different parts of me think and feel about being close emotionally or even physically. Yet watching shows that portray a good close relationship, I wish I had one, but then think no I don't. I wonder if being disconnected from people my own age as the only people in my life are my two kids, will make for meeting somone more difficult? Over the 9 years I have tried, but a part pushes people away. Hate loneliness but want it too. Feel in-between and makes things harder. Thoughts??
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question do you mean .... isolated...?
heres why I ask.... in my location the word disconnected when used in the dissociative sense means a a special kind of ..numbness, lack of feelings for something....
example when I am feeling my disconnected from my body I look at a body part like my fingers, but I......feel .... a sense of numbness like it seems as if those fingers are not attached to my hand because my mind cant....feel.... them, no emotions, no mental attachment to my fingers. I know they are there and that they are my fingers I just cant ....feel ..... them, you know that numb feeling you get when you go to a dentist and the dentist gives you a chot of a numbing agent, you know your lip is still there but you cant ......feel...... it physically or mentally.
another example of how the term disconnected in regards to dissociative problems is used in my location....
during a stressful meeting I can look at the people in the room, look around the room and not.....feel... anything for them, no emotions, total numbness, I dont like or dislike anything in the room, or the people or the topic, just numb no emotions watching from afar kind of feeling.
in my location what you describe in your post is called isolation...when an alter of mine tried to push a friend way from being my friend that alter was trying to isolate me, make it so that I had no friendships in order to ensure I would not tell the secrets. sometimes after a hard work day I come home and isolate by going into the bedroom away from my family and friends for a while. sometimes during my depression pattern with my bipolar disorder I isolate or push my wife away even though i may want and need her to hold me.
Another term my location uses for purposely stopping one self from participating and being a part of things is called dis- association. this is different than dissociation.
now you see why I asked you if you mean what my location calls isolation.
the way I stop isolating is by taking a few minutes to breath and remember its not always a good thing for me to isolate from those who care for me. then i make a plan of action that will allow me to have "me time" as well as have time for other people and events. my doctors also help by adjusting my medication so that I am no longer so full of anxiety and depression to where I want to isolate to the extreme.
my suggestion maybe you can talk with your treatment providers and they can help you draw up a treatment plan that will allow you to have that time where you can be apart from others but yet partake in activities and such that will enable you to have friendships, relationships that you would like to have.