As much as I hear you say that this is all due to your BPD, remember, your husband needs boundaries too and it's quite acceptable for him to put them in place when your behaviour isn't appropriate.

I'm not sure that I quite understand the compromise from your post, but I've kind of interpreted the problem based on what seesaw has written.

Your husband is the one who's prone to have his feelings hurt during the first few hours of the day since he's the one that wakes up with you, but he doesn't have to put up with your rage.

You need to take the lead here. Being aware of the times when you're liable to fly into a rage is a good thing. Walk away when you feel it! No, you don't have to act out the moment you feel something like your husband suggests. So if you set the path, and he notices that you're not going off the handle as much, it may dawn on him that this is perhaps a good strategy.

Then I'd recommend waiting until dinner if there really is something worth mentioning that he did to hurt your feelings / something ticked you off. Because you've had hours pass and time to calm down and you're less likely to come out as hostile and more likely to have an open and honest conversation with him. And hopefully he'll join the party and start compromising with you.

Just a thought.