I spoke with T about my feelings of being attached to him and wanting him to stay around as a friend after therapy ends. I told him how I hated the fact that I think about things we've said a lot in between sessions and that I know that he doesn't. He said, "I think the world of you." "But, I'm not going to lie to you." He basically agreed with what I said. He told me that we could never be friends because he would always be the one in power.

I knew this intellectually, of course. But emotionally I was a wreck. I spent the whole hour on the couch bawling my eyes out. It was the first time that I have really let out that much emotion in session. There are no words to describe how hurt, how devastated I felt and still feel. I feel so upset, so hurt, so alone, so insignificant, and so empty.