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Old Nov 07, 2016, 04:04 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,061
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace View Post
I think you need to speak to potential therapists in person and discuss these matters one-on-one. I suspect they may be wary from your email that you may expect rather loose boundaries from them.

You have to remember that your old therapist found his loose boundaries didn't work with you after awhile, and when he tightened down on them, things went very badly. Trying to recreate what you had with your old T (which didn't work and ended up disastrously) may not be the best plan. Perhaps to avoid the same pitfalls, a different style or different boundaries might be to your benefit. Just a thought, but I know you realize what went wrong previously so it so it might be important to consider what needs to happen differently this time so that your therapy is more effective for you.
I agree that this is too much information to include in a first e-mail asking for an appointment. I would just include a few sentences saying very briefly why you're looking for a T, then see if you can have either an initial phone call or meeting with them. Even then, I wouldn't talk about what you had with the past T. I might ask something like "What is your policy on hugs?" "Do you allow out of session contact?" and stuff like that. Because if you state all these wants/needs up front, it might seem like a lot to a T who has never met you. Even if the T might be willing and able to meet those needs.
Thanks for this!
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