(((DD))) what exactly is going on, and why are you so involved in it? This is their mother. They should be allowed space for their feelings.

Has there been a memorial service yet? My brother and i werent really up for speaking when my mother passed, but a cousin in law who is a protestant minister(?) made a really nice speech.

I have an aunt who is always up my rear about have i visited my parents' gravesite. Its none of her business.

You are entitled to your feelings and memories about your grandma. But if others dont share them, does it diminish yours? Maybe they didnt receive what you did from her. Then grief gets complicated.