I deal with families in probate all the time - and families and their relationships with the deceased and each other can be messed up and the death of a mother/grandmother can be distressing in many ways and on many levels. I see it all the time. In fact, in my business, it is hard to remember that sometimes families can grieve together and without restraining orders. Grandchildren do have different relationships to their grandparents than the children of the grandparent. And often people are still dealing with hurt and family issues from 45-50 years ago, not just the recent past.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. I hope you can find some peace soon. Perhaps it won't happen with your family altogether - but I hope you can within yourself.