I want to apologize. I had my original account deleted because I was feeling very hurt with the world and life. I had really just given up. But you've all been so very, very kind. This is really the only place I've found any support and I forgot that. I'm sorry.

I heard some gossip today that the AVP had already chosen someone else before the notice about the retiring manager leaving was even posted. Before the job was posted. I was never really a serious candidate. What's worse is that the person she choose got the link to the job posting from me. Not smart enough to find the job themselves, but smart enough for the job.

I also heard that the VP was not happy about that and wanted everything to be open and fair. So pretty sure she didn't want me either, just didn't want to get in trouble with HR. I'm pretty devastated.

Retiring manager still insists I'm in the running. Said the gossip was wrong and to keep hanging in there. Now I feel like everyone is lying to me. But I've given up hope that anything will happen in my favor.

This evening I'm feeling like my world is over. Finally, after a few years of thinking like this, I told my brother this afternoon that when I say quit I don't mean just my job. Quit quit.

I don't know why this is so important, but I really just don't feel like going on. I unfortunately put all of my career eggs in the basket that is my department. And now not only am I not going to get the promotion, I'm probably not going to be around much longer.

And sure I can leave, but these people are like family. If I'm not good enough for family who would I be good enough for.

Anyway, I felt I owed it to those of you reading to hear the end of my story. Please, don't let your work be your life.

Be well.
Brian