Hi Skitsnigel,

My experience mostly came from growing up in a household with parents who were very irrational. The type of religious doctrine they believed in was an off-shoot of Catholicism. It took a long time after breaking free from them to establish my own spirituality and learn what I personality believe to be true.
It often takes time to establish your own individual spiritual/ religious beliefs when the beliefs of others have been imposed on you for a number of years.

Give it sometime and don't judge yourself for the reactions you have. Trust that the path you set for yourself and your journey is yours and yours alone.