i have had issues with feeling connected to people. i have limited friends (one i see every months and one once a year) and haven't been in a romantic relationship really technically ever. i don't see it being possible because the fear and other things are too difficult. even just trying to meet people to be friends with causes anxiety, and romantic stuff is 100 times more difficult to think about. i always have triggers/red flags with people whether it's potential friendship or romantic/dating, etc. and can barely (sometimes never) tolerate the fear associated with it..it also sets off dissociation, and a billion things circle around inside...usually a DANGER sign/feeling.
i have people i feel connected to when i see them( family members)...but when i am not around them, i don't feel it.
i have social anxiety and am introverted and prefer/need to be alone a lot because being around people (esp. loud, aggressive, etc.) drain my energy. the trauma/DID related stuff makes it even worse/more difficult.
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