For the last six days I have been feeling weird. Background; PTSd issues hit me 15 days ago, I snapped and became very suicidal and obsessive. Was able to switch that off (the suicidal bit at least) till last Thursday when I had my Literature exam. Since then I have become very suicidal at times with grandiose, delusional, agitated, racing thoughts stuff haunting me. Yesterday I switched to happy.

The euphoria I have felt since yesterday feels very spiritual (I am not religious, possibly even atheist) and overwhelmed with a feeling of oneness with everything. I feel I know everything and am very powerful. expansive. My pdoc thinks it is related to the PTSD and bipolar. My way of coping with overwhelming emotions. Either way I feel like a god. Senses are heightened intensely and 'reality' slipping away. But I feel so good. have had some dark moments return with SI but they pass quickly.

Is this psychosis? Or am I having a spiritual awakening? Didn't think to ask my pdoc will have to wait till Thursday when I see him again. Seeing T tomorrow tho so interested to see what he thinks. Anyone else felt like this. I feel more 'normal' than ever.

A tiny voice inside me says this is not normal and is trying to bring me down but the power of the experience is making me want to stay like this. Maybe I can resolve some issues while so high. I feel pressured by all the thoughts in my head so a little anxious and obsessive but still great.