I am sorry you are struggling. I don't know how old you are but you certainly can find happiness. I can't tell you what to do but I think leaving and starting over sounds like the best option.. There are a lot of happy marriages. I recently got married second time and we are a great match. My first marriage wasn't horrid but we were bad match and it didn't last. My husband on the other hand stayed in horrible marriage for almost 30 years. Certainly wasn't worth it. It's personal decision of course. But happiness is possible