It is sad when our marriage doesn't work. <<hugs>> Was the beginning of your marriage happy?
I ask this because I have been married 29 years. Mine was really happy at the beginning. Together constantly. Met while serving on active duty. Our offices were steps away from each other (but we were not in the same chain of command). Drove to work together, had lunch together, etc. Waited 6 years before having our first child. When my nervous breakdown got bad 5 years ago (my job was burning me out), it effected our relationship. I felt angry and disconnected from him. Even wondered if he was doing some things just to manipulate or control me (I was paranoid). There was yelling and isolating from each other.
I say this to say that it seems like when my anger and depression improved (I was in therapy), I started feeling differently about him and when I treated him better, he slowly started treating me alot better as well. When you can find things that you admire about someone then that is an important building block. We still do a lot together. We share all our meals (when he works, he mostly works from home), do errands together, and take a walk with each other every day. He also teases that "he needs to maintain the wife." In other words, he makes it a point to make sure that I am sexually satisfied at least once a week and I have always thought that I should be there in the same way for him. Of course, sparks do not fly everytime but when they do, it really jazzes up our marriage. And everyday is not perfect. There are days where we do not listen to each other the way we should. Or I will find his response to something that I have told him disappointing. But because I have been trying to be more open with him, I have noticed that sometimes he will be more responsive on the 2nd or 3rd time that I tell him something. People are just not "on" (fully engaged) all the time. I responded to your post because I thought the title "Is any marriage truly happy" engaging. I don't think that any relationship can be euphoric all the time. Effected by all the stresses in our life, our moods and happiness ebb and flow all of the time. I hope you can find the happiness you seek.