I think some marriages can be truly happy, but in all honestly, not that many. I think it's just as you say -- a lot of people are terrified at starting over again and of the unknown, especially later in life. That said, you deserve to be happy. I understand how you feel and I have more than a few friends who will be in the same boat in a few years. I think to split up when the kids have gone and you know you'll be comfortable financially is a a good choice for some people. You probably know this, but financial security is important so that's a huge consideration and no one wants to end up in poverty (unless there is abuse or safety is at risk). As for being alone, it depends on the person. I know some very happy divorced people and I know lonely divorced people. More often than not it's the men who struggle with the loneliness since spouses are often their social life and support system. Women tend to have friends as support systems so in that respect the women I know do just fine. Just think hard about what you want in life going forward (happy is a vague concept) and what kind of life you can realistically live. There are going to be good and bad sides to both options, so you really have to look at the pros and cons and see what means more to you. I know how hard it is to feel like this. I hope you're able to find what you want,