In hindsite my two marriages were unhelthy from the very beginning. I got married for the wrong reasons; the first was the father of my children and the second was because I felt it would be the 'safe' thing to do. I did everything I possibly could do to make them work. I realize now neither husband made any effort to do the same.

If you are in a safe place then the big factor is: has your spouse invested the same energy into the relationship that you have?