I'm having what I call a "fragile day", meaning I feel like I'm about to break down and cry any second. I'm barely making it through. The only saving grace is that it is a professional development day so I am in workshops all day instead of teaching. Thank god for that.
I had an awful dream early this morning that I think triggered this.
The dream was basically reliving the night he died. I was so happy for him to be alive and then he died. I miss him so much. I have t really been missing him for a long time because I've been so angry at him but all of a sudden I'm back to being completely heartbroken. I just loved him so much, and he loved me so much, and I don't think I'll ever find that again. It's ****ing me up.
So yeah I want to go crawl into bed and cry for the rest of the day. But I can't.
Good thing is I didn't buy cigarettes.