Hey there,

I grew up in a Catholic home. My mom has preached to me about waiting until marriage since I was six years old. I truly believed that was how people did things, that everyone held my values. However, when I got to college I quickly found out that was not how things go.
I found a really great guy freshman year, but I kept him distant because he was very open about sex and I knew that was something he'd want from his partners. But we sorta fell for each other anyway. I told him the night he finally kissed me that he had to be careful, that we didn't want the same things. He hesitated at first, but eventually agreed to wait until I was comfortable.
Things were really great. And it's not like I didn't try for him. But if we got too close I would panic and it would hurt when he touched me and I would have to beg him to stop. He thought i didn't like him, but I truly couldn't get this out of my head.
Waiting is terrible. It's not like we don't want to have sex. But you can't enjoy something you've thought was bad your whole life.
My boyfriend left me because he didn't understand, but I have found other guys that kno about my anxiety and are patient. Granted they are few and far between, but if the person really and truly cares about you before you start dating, time means nothing to them.