You're most welcome...

I wasn't so much referring to disciplinary action though (sorry if that was unclear)...


I was responding to your statement of "we have to bail her out from the stupid choices she makes"...


The truth is you don't, and its actually better for her in the long run should you not bail her out and let her face the consequences and clean up her own messes.


My daughter is younger (starting HS in January) but I noticed early on that my bailing her out (like staying up all night to complete her projects because she "forgot") was just teaching her that I would not only let her get away with being irresponsible, but that I would take said responsibility upon myself.


Pretty sure she took advantage of me on occasion.

Anyway long story shorter... I threatened not to bail her out, and without a written excuse to her teacher... And I followed through.


Scared her straight, and while she still sucks at prioritizing (what 12y.o doesn't?) she knows the onus is on her if she screws up.


When I was about 15, I got into some really rebellious stuff, yes booz and stealing included...


Best thing my mom did was say "Well we thought we were doing you a favour by giving you extra rope, but it seems you're intent on hanging yourself with it. So go ahead, I wash my hands off of you"


Gosh. Probably one of theeeee harshest things ANYONE'S said to me, but it made me take notice and brought me back to my senses.


No. I didn't suddenly turn into a pristine angel, but I was much pickier about the level of shyt I would attempt and the people I would attempt it with. Kind of like responsible rebelling. If there were such a thing....


Sorry.

Didn't mean to talk your ear off.


Just wanted you to know that being a great parent isn't always about protecting our kids, sometimes they have to learn what hurts, so they can learn to make better choices.

PS. I didn't see anything in your post that suggests you're hurting her at all.