Be very careful of self fulfilling prophecies (if you're not familiar, look it up). I fear you may be setting the stage unfortunately. I also think you don't give yourself enough credit and should work on building self esteem. Someone on PC recently wrote about a self esteem building workbook (wish I could remember who and the name of the book). Perhaps that could help you? I'm sorry you are in such a battle with yourself and I hope you find a way to feel more confident. For your girlfriends sake but mostly for your own. (((Hugs)))