I'm so sorry about that dream. Those ones are heart-wrenching. I had a similar one about a week ago in which my husband came back, and all was well again...and then suddenly he was dead and I wasn't there for him. Woke up crying and felt horrible all day. Most of the other dreams I've had with him in them show him alive and healthy---he's the same age, but there is no expression of pain, no gauntness, no look of death in his face.

Last night I had to kill a big spider in my room. I'm afraid of them. Dispatching bugs used to be his job, but now I'm responsible for killing my own spiders. The first thing I did was call out his name out of habit, and then in a split-second I realized I was on my own. So I waited till the critter came down from the ceiling, whacked the hell out of it with my shoe, and burst into tears. The hits just keep on coming, don't they?