The olanzapine took my euphoria away and I don't feel like a god. Stupid meds. Hopefully it will wear off and I will feel great again. Dark feelings back too. Must be the meds messing with my mood. I just want the happy-fluffy-bunnies experience of life again.

Still, I feel spiritual and deeply connected to the universe. Do you know what a fractal is?



A fractal is a never-ending pattern. Fractals are infinitely complex patterns that are self-similar across different scales. They are created by repeating a simple process over and over in an ongoing feedback loop. Driven by recursion, fractals are images of dynamic systems – the pictures of Chaos. Geometrically, they exist in between our familiar dimensions. Fractal patterns are extremely familiar, since nature is full of fractals.

To me fractals represent infinity and chaos. they fascinate me. I have a canvas of one on my wall in my flat. No matter how deep within the fractal you go it ends up looking exactly like the beginning and goes on this way forever. Right now I feel in touch with that infinity. From the tiniest particle inside an atom or quark to the ends of the glorious universe, or multi-verse. This has always captivated me, even when 'normal' so I don't think I am being grandiose.

Anyway, i could ramble on for hours. I will try to keep my posts small. Mood is picking up now I am awake and had my coffee.

So anyone else had spiritual experiences while manic or hypo manic? What were they like?