The pressure in my mind is immense; racing thoughts, ideas and processing all the sensory information around me. Feels like my brain may explode but still I am happy.

this sounds like simple manic thoughts to me ... but I am by no means an expert

I just hope the darkness doesn't depend me into mixed as it did yesterday. When that happens I am not safe.

If you are not "safe" please seek help ... call a friend and talk it out ... a crisis line ... of if you fear life now ... go to the er ... we all want you safe ... please take care of yourself ... by the way I never said I was christian ... that is a religion ... religions are designed to prevent us from finding "out what is really there" ....