So sorry you're feeling disturbed by this . . . from what I was told over 50 years ago, when I first went into a therapy, it's "good" that you are aware of this tendency!

I have had a more "covert" or codependent narcissism myself, so I can kind of understand, even if the particulars of my experience are somewhat different from yours.

And as a codependent (sometimes), I want to tell you "please, don't worry." But I also know that worry is OK sometimes.

So, back to to the first point, there is some merit in being aware. But. . .life goes on. Some narcissism isn't necessarily evil or wrong, as seems to be the common view these days. (But I'm old and can say things like that, on the basis of experience of how cultural ideas can change. )