From what I have read on this forum, self injury doesn't seem to "say" what we want it to say. It often freaks providers out, but it doesn't seem to increase the feeling of being cared for.

If I understand you correctly, staying with the day hospital is essential for your financial stability. And if you stay with the day hospital, you have to stay with the pdoc. If that is the case, I would keep the appointment on Friday and try to figure out a way to survive the relationship with the pdoc. I would be strategizing how to do that.

You said that you don't want the gabapentin if the pdoc doesn't think it is a good idea. Do you have any thoughts about what you might want to ask for? Anxiety can be so crippling. I hate it