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They like to peddle this crap in a ton of different forms but they all boil down to the same thing: blaming YOU for EVERYTHING, including things you have no control over that don't even originate inside yourself. And I suspect they peddle it because someone crushed them out with it when they were little, and that's all they know how to do, that's what poison they imbibed as "reality" in their lives.

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Excellent words Malady. Here is something positive. The people who screwed us were not happy. I know it''s hard to empathise through the pain, but if we go back as objectively as we can, the picture is pretty clear.

Someone who has to hit on their own kid to get some relief is not at peace with themselves. My father never went more than 12 hours without a trigger and then lashing out. When he was terminally ill his own brother wouldn't go into the room to visit with him, so I guess there was a dark history there.

I really believe that we are better than what went before us. We are sharing our feelings, coming clean about the negative patterns in us. They couldn't even start, because they couldn't go there.

This thread has shown how deep the hurt goes when we internalise it, but those insulting words that keep coming up are not our words, they were (as you rightly said) put there.
At some point, we have to take them out and put them down somewhere.

In my own case the word 'bad'. No, that word doesn't describe me.

Good thoughts, Myzen