Not hopeful. I keep trying to maintain at least a sliver of a positive outlook, but seems right when I feel like I might be gaining traction with that, something always comes along and just curb stomps the **** out of it.

Right now I'm worried about my country's future, mainly how the next four years are going to pan out. I'm very scared what little progress we have made will be undone.

I had a dream last night my estranged aunt (who my dad drunkenly slept with just over two years ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom's lives) was at our house and trying to do something for my twentieth birthday (which was the 7th).

What a way to begin a new decade of life.

I don't have hope for the future, not for this country or myself.