Hey everyone, so I thought I was doing okayish for the last 2 weeks but clearly not. After I had delusions and hallucinating for the first time after stopping my meds, I told my pdoc everything, he was very understanding as I had been severely depressed for the past 6 months and was extremely frustrated. He said I was on too many meds (three mood stabilizers, xanax and an antidepressant) so he decided to increase my lamictal, antidepressant and remove the other 2 mood stabilizers- trileptal and topamax, as they didn't seem to do much. Now its been 2 weeks and I'm emotional mess, I can't stop crying at the littlest things, I wake up crying from nightmares, I was even crying when I saw one of the posts on the forum! I don't know what's going on, usually suicidal ideation is my biggest hurdle, but now I feel emotionally exhausted from swinging from euphoria to depression during the day, I don't know what to do anymore. I spoke to my pdoc, he increased the lamictal and antidepressant but it doesn't seem to be helping. I really can't do this, being depressed for 6 months nearly killed me, I'm fighting a losing battle, I'm so confused, everything just hurts, I just want to end it all (sorry for the long post)