I agree that you will have to decide how much you are going to tolerate and also how long you are willing to wait around for him. He might flip flop for years as far as his attachment patterns go, so it is important to just focus on how you have been feeling lately in the relationship and make a decision based on that.

Maybe making a list of "reasons for staying" and "reasons for leaving" can help you gain clarity to make a decision and weigh your options. You sound very supportive of him, but your needs are very important, so do not overlook that. Many people (at one point or another) have the tendency of just focusing on what heir partner needs while neglecting their own needs.

He has a lot of issues to work through it sounds with his trauma history and attachment issues, but this is for him to address. The attachment style could play a significant role in why he cuts people out of his life, which is formed early on in life. You need to think about how the relationship is benefiting you though. Analyzing his issues can be extremely overwhelming, although you want to be there for him. However, you are not obligated to stay in a relationship that is toxic or causing you to feel dismissed or overwhelmed. I'd also question whether this relationship is healthy for either of you at this time. Maybe a break is needed if you do not feel ready to break up completely.

He sounds emotionally unavailable and incapable of giving anyone the love and attention that a partner needs to be in a healthy relationship at this time. These are some serious points to consider. Best wishes