My h and I have had a war, basically, over one specific issue. We are now with a marriage t and things are a little better.

He and I both had all kinds of drama and even sui threats. Neither did it. I doubt your h will either. (Maybe remove the rope jic)

Hold firm. When he sees you are serious, he will go to therapy and take the meds.

Do you still want him, if he makes some progress and works with a t?