a few weeks ago i had a difficult session with t. whilst it was difficult it was a step into a deeper trust. he found things out about me and or my past that were very shame filled. i feel so much closer to my t, also absolutely terrified (i have a disorganised attachment pattern and also a past bpd diagnosis so the second i feel close i tend to pull away but then be over the stop clingy too) but ive been fighting those attachment feelings and putting them to the side and trying to not pull away. I want to be closer to my T. I feel closer to my T. It fills me with the deep desire to accept it and get closer yet at the same time im absolutely terrified of it and it's making me sick to my core, even leaving his office at the center I refuse to leave and feel anxious cos i am so attached.

That aside, after the difficult session, putting aside my attachment disrorder, I feel a great appreciation for my T. Nobody has ever took the time to understand me like he has. I feel cared for, I know I am - all the things he's done to try and get into my point of view. Do you tell T how you feel, just a genuine sense of warmth/thank you? It's special to me cos its never happened like this before. but it's just t's job, and i'd feel slightly ashamed to say it.