Things do get better. I've used many things in healing from CPTSD and I'm getting there. Some of the things that help are not talk therapy , like EMDR , trauma release exercises , EFT , I've worked with a shaman. So multi-disciplines help with it. We can't change what's over and what's happened , only where we go. It does feel like living a double life - it's the hidden illness. Do you feel hyper aroused / hyper vigilant a lot of the time ? That's a difficult aspect of it.