I had like 3 great weeks. No depression, happy, productive, etc.

Then wham! Like a ton of bricks. It started Monday or Tuesday..slowing sinking into a depressive episode. I wish it was hypomanic!

I am tired, very emotional, sad, SO guilty

Because of my late diagnosis, I feel like my older son got robbed of a fully functioning, devoted mother. With my little guy, we have such a connection, and I can honestly say that I am SUCH a better mom to him. I feel so guilty, and usually I can deal, but starting this depressive episode, is making the guilt really bad.

I wish I was diagnosed so many years ago. SSRIs helped keep the edge off. Once we realized it was BP...the Lamictal literally saved my life.

We upped my Lamictal to 300mg to see what happens.

I am happy, then sad, then anxious. The last 48 hours.

Having BP really ,really sucks, but I try hard to keep it in perspective. So many people deal with much more than I have to deal with, but it still sucks

For anyone that made it this far..thank you.

Sad/tired/guilty