If anyone wants to write, they will. To me it sounds like hospital is the best place for you. Nudge your hubby again later if you are no better. I'm glad you have him.

I just lay down for half an hour after the Zyprexa hit me. I had been avoiding meds so I could stay high but the agitation was getting to me. I am calmer now and less manic. Still pretty high though. In shock a bit at what my doctor said. I didn't think I was that unwell. Gosh, I still don't but to have him tell me I am full blown manic and mixed, so i guess dysphoric mania, was tough to hear. I don't know why. I thought I was fine, a bit elevated, but fine. Now I am worried about the crash. I want to stay high, or get even higher. I am a bit confused and conflicted. Stupid Olanzapine making me think straight.

You see my T has always said I am BP2 as I have not had a manic episode. pdoc said BP1 due to severity of mixed episodes. Now both agree BP1. I still don't believe it really. I feel so damn well. Weird having people say I am very ill while feeling so good, except for agitation. Oh well, maybe I will be a good girl and take my zyprexa regularly and hopefully go back to 'normal'...but I don't want that. I want to stay here. Im in a bit of a bind.