I have been worried about my moods for a while now... I have had times when I felt depressed, hopeless, and even suicidal since I was 14. Although I'm not suicidal anymore, in the past year, I've had 3 nervous breakdowns where I couldn't concentrate on anything, felt constantly sleepy, had no motivation to do anything, felt worthless and unsatisfied with my life. A few times, I was also really irritable and got furious about little things. These episodes lasted for 2-4 days and during those days, I just wanted these painful feelings to stop as soon as possible.
Other times though, I feel quite confident in myself and satisfied with where I am at in life. Some days I am really energetic and way more sociable than usual. On those days I'm usually motivated to do everything and I make lots of plans. A lot of the time I'm just hazily uninterested in stuff and don't have much motivation to do work, but I end up doing most of the work anyways.
I also have anxiety... I was diagnosed with it when I was 13, but I didn't quite believe it and so I didn't treat it. I think it has gotten worse. I have panic attacks basically every day now, but of varying severity and length. They don't usually last very long though, so I have just gotten used to them... Recently, I have been feeling paranoid about people thinking bad things about me. Some people just look at me the wrong way... I am probably overthinking things, but these delusions seem quite believable when they happen...
I also believe I have Dermatillomania, where I pick on my skin (daily). I looked at the forum for this and the experiences people described there rang true to me. This is also something that has been going on for so long that I have gotten used to it. However, it still disappoints my mom and myself, so it's still a problem that I want to deal with.
I am reluctant to see a mental health professional because I'm afraid they will not believe me... My mother is also highly skeptical of all mental illnesses, so she would definitely have a problem with accepting anything as an actual illness if I get diagnosed with something. It's just intimidating and I'm not sure what to expect from a mental health professional (I would have to see a psychiatrist because they're covered by my insurance.)
Sorry this is such a long post. Any advice or personal experiences would be appreciated!