Quote:
Originally Posted by newtobipolar
I had like 3 great weeks. No depression, happy, productive, etc.
Then wham! Like a ton of bricks. It started Monday or Tuesday..slowing sinking into a depressive episode. I wish it was hypomanic!
I am tired, very emotional, sad, SO guilty
Because of my late diagnosis, I feel like my older son got robbed of a fully functioning, devoted mother. With my little guy, we have such a connection, and I can honestly say that I am SUCH a better mom to him. I feel so guilty, and usually I can deal, but starting this depressive episode, is making the guilt really bad.
I wish I was diagnosed so many years ago. SSRIs helped keep the edge off. Once we realized it was BP...the Lamictal literally saved my life.
We upped my Lamictal to 300mg to see what happens.
I am happy, then sad, then anxious. The last 48 hours.
Having BP really ,really sucks, but I try hard to keep it in perspective. So many people deal with much more than I have to deal with, but it still sucks
For anyone that made it this far..thank you.
Sad/tired/guilty
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Boy can I relate. When I'm depressed I get really down over what my kids deserve versus what they received.....when my first born was 2, I mentally checked out into a comotose depression and fortunately my parents looked after my son. I will never get that time back. But I've been a good mother and I'm sure so have you. I love my kids fiercely and have provided and nurtured them with love, compassion and boundaries. I wasn't perfect but I will give myself a solid B. My kids deserved an A+ parents but it could have been worse.
Snuggle with you little one and keep loving him with all you have. Depression is not for the weak...you are strong so keep up the good fight and live in love. Love can see us through the toughest of times.
(((Hugs)))