I don't want to be on medication. I know I had a rough morning but I truly feel I ruined Christmas and that feels ******. I feel he'd rather me just shut up, take the meds and act fine then be me. He wants my euphoric manic side, the out going me back but that's not going to happen. I'm angry, sad, and hearing things some times. I have 10 days to convince him otherwise. I took a kolotipin Wednesday and after sleeping it off I cried until they got home because they were going to get in an accident. So yes I'm having some hard days but that doesn't mean I need meds. I can make it through this no one believes in me. I know pnurse is going to suggest meds, T wants me on meds, and now even DH. T thinks I'm setting myself up for the hospital. It's ridiculous that it's going to come down to meds or the hospital just because no one trusts me. How can I get out of this and convince them no meds? I'm willing to temporarily use meds but not life long. I so just want to give up and SI but that's proving them right.