Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
I don't want to be on medication. I know I had a rough morning but I truly feel I ruined Christmas and that feels ******. I feel he'd rather me just shut up, take the meds and act fine then be me. He wants my euphoric manic side, the out going me back but that's not going to happen. I'm angry, sad, and hearing things some times. I have 10 days to convince him otherwise. I took a kolotipin Wednesday and after sleeping it off I cried until they got home because they were going to get in an accident. So yes I'm having some hard days but that doesn't mean I need meds. I can make it through this no one believes in me. I know pnurse is going to suggest meds, T wants me on meds, and now even DH. T thinks I'm setting myself up for the hospital. It's ridiculous that it's going to come down to meds or the hospital just because no one trusts me. How can I get out of this and convince them no meds? I'm willing to temporarily use meds but not life long. I so just want to give up and SI but that's proving them right.
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I'm sorry you are in such a state. It's your body and your decision. It sure does seem you have lots of people very concerned and your sentence about wanting to self harm or SI is very serious. Sometimes the sicker we are, the less ability we have to see the whole picture. On the flip side, when well we can often be the best judge of our needs. I have no advise but just want you to be safe and happy. 2 presents is more than enough. My kids will probably get one each from my husband and I. Would I like to give them more? Of course, but they have plenty already and all their basic needs are met along with lots of love. Christmas is too commercialized and we are made to believe we must spend, spend, spend in order to have a quality Christmas. This just isn't true. 2 gifts is more than many will receive this year, including likely my own kids. In my area they have charities where people adopt families and buy them presents and food cards for a nice Christmas. I've adopted families in the past and it not only helps the family receiving, but gives pleasure to the giver as well. Maybe they have such charities in your area if you and your family cannot afford a good meal and few pressies. (((Hugs)))