Hey,

You have been down this road many times.

You admit you can't see how bad you are when in the middle of a shift, most of us all struggle with exact thing.

Knowing you for years ? Yes I do think you need meds to live the most productive life and stability for yourself and your family.

Gifts and mismanaged money ? Yes yes yes ! We Bipolar types often struggle with managing money and deciding how to get everything done and not drop too many balls in the process.

You often go on meds and then you find baseline ..... You get bored about ..... Sure baseline isn't fun like hypo/mania.. Of course it's going to feel boring , but ..... Here comes the part about being a wife, mother and just finding happiness in yourself. Of course it's not easy to find it and realize life isn't always a hellish mess of ups or downs. Baseline can be a fantastic place to be, beats crying and wanting to SI.

If the games are still unopened and Miguel doesn't know about them... Return them , he doesn't HAVE to get both. I think Christmas revolves to much around gifts and geeez they get more and more expensive. Want to know what one of the best Christmas's I had? I was 11 , my parents just didn't have money for presents, ( I didn't know it) my mother made my brother and I numerous stuff animals and she made our favorite breakfast and we had our normal Christmas fest. That green stuffed cat was literally the best gift I had ever been given !!!! As I got older and realized what happened and why I got that green cat , it amazed me that I did I fact love it more than the giant Barbie house I got the year before, as Venus mentioned ...start traditions, memories don't always cost lots of money!

I'll say it again , I know your probably sick of me saying this ... But.... I still believe that if your married, parent.... Whatever ... You do what you need to that will allow your family and you to enjoy life. If someone is single by all means they can do whatever there want.

If I decided to just let myself go twirling off into episodes and be selfish, yes that would be hella selfish of me, my husband doesn't deserve to put up with me all over the place just because I want to just do my own thing, he supports me fully and has driven me to the hospital many times when I need it. But if I intentionally didn't give a damn ? He would / could and should be upset. I love him and our grown kids, so I feel I need to do whatever possible to keep myself healthy. Yeah it gets boring sometimes, but hey neurotypicals do fine with " boring " which is not boring , it's just life , life is what you make it.