I feel for you. I think in a lot of ways it feels unfair, to have to do so much work to "appear normal" as you say. I deal with PTSD myself and still dislike doing the bodywork and my T had told me I basically had to. I sometimes try to compare myself with people with physical problems and that they too might feel it's unfair they have to do the extra work. What they have going for them is often their problems are obvious to others (not always) and they presumably get more sympathy and understanding. On the other hand, for those who like to "appear normal", having psychological issues might be an advantage because in some cases you could fake it (of course the discerning coworker could still tell something is wrong).

For me the problem is when I refuse relations with people and I think maybe they wonder if I am acting rude or aloof. When the reality is quite different. Because of abuse in my past and PTSD too I find relating with people in more intimate way extremely challenging and painful. I can only handle so much of it and then I have to recover. Yet I crave good relationships, and I think good relationships are just what the doctor ordered, they can help us heal from past relational trauma. But have patience with yourself. You will continue to get better and hopefully form new relationships. But it takes time.

Good for you. May I ask what meds you're on? I also suffer from night terrors but my antidepressants don't help that much.