Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
I think you misunderstood me.
You can choose to draw the line in your relationhip wherever you want. But it sounded like you were unsure the webcam was the line, if he didnt immediately agree to it.
Its like, thats the problem with giving someone an ultimatum - what if they call you on it? There is no room for talking about it. Now i understand what you were saying, space vs silent treatment.
I do have a problem with you trying to control what he does in his free private time alone - i dont understand how this hurts you. He needs his space too.
Really im not judging you. I appreciate the difficulty of determining if a person is trustworthy or if he is rushing and pushing you blindly into a decision that meets his own needs.
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I really don't understand you and we usually agree on things but you don't think doing something in ones private time could be bad for a relationship? So cheating isn't hurtful or you don't consider it cheating? So if cheating is only penetration?
We value each other's private time, but com'n now! My husband is currrently watching corniest stupidest movie ( the one I'd never watch)in a spare room and loudly laughs. Certainly it doesnt hurt me. I am going to dinner with my girlfriends tonight. Again it's my private time. Certainly doesn't hurt him, in fact he is happy I'll have fun.
But if he was laughing in a spare bedroom because he is jerking off watching naked girl on webcam or I was going on a date with s guy tonight and we would be playing footsie under the table and have sex talk , it would be entirely different "private time". It wouldn't be ok in any shape! Even if no intercourse
Also maybe such activity is considered ok for you but it clearly isn't ok for OP! It wouldn't be ok for me either. I actually don't think I would go on with a guy. I would be too grossed out. Now if they are just friends who are shacking up then it's all right. But she referred to him as bf!
Ps also he wasn't alone in his private time but engaged in sexual activity with another person, other than OP.