Hi hvert,
I wonder how old your mother is, and does she live alone?

My mom is 90 and widowed now for 8 yrs. She is lonely. Yes, she manipulates the family to get attention, positive or negative, doesn't matter as long as she is talking to someone.

I am the nearest (local) and youngest of the family. I am my mom's caregiver and must see her nearly everyday. It is very hard to do sometimes in the state I'm in, but what else can I do? I can either live with the guilt of not paying enough attention (I detest guilt, but can't help it), or spend more time one on one, although where I could find the time for more is impossible to imagine. It is a problem, but one I can't abandon due to her age and needs.
She does stir up trouble with other family members, says one thing, then denies it, that sort of thing. My dad was EXTREMELY controlling and manipulative, I guess it rubbed off on her. It is really sad to want to take care of your mom, but have to go through a mine field to do it. I have no choice, she is unable to do most things since breaking her hip in 2014.

But it does cause me a lot of pain and upset, the guilt she places on me. (And the guilt is always present, it seems, I can never do enough). I guess I'm doomed to ride it out until she passes in 6 yrs or so. I'll be the one who changes her diapers when that time comes too. I love my mom, but she makes it hard to take care of her. What to do to change it? I don't know. I don't think she can change at 90 and I'm just stuck. I can't abandon her, I'm the only one she sees in person. Everyone else is just by phone.

Wish I had some sage advice, but I hope knowing you aren't alone helps somewhat.