I'm sorry, your situation with your mother is heartbreaking. Are there any resources in your area that can help you? Caretaking is very difficult even when you don't have to walk through a minefield to do it, so I can't imagine what it is like for you.

My mother is about 60. She lives alone but works. I don't want to think about what is going to happen when she is too old to take care of herself. She has been guilt tripping us about that for many years already. She tells us 'just shoot me, I don't want to live in a nursing home.' Then she usually makes some snide comment about how none of us will take care of her or let her live with us. I will never let her live with me, that is for sure!