Dear Pilar --

As the first responder, I was reluctant to be too overt in my responses and potentially scare you away. Every single thought that others have written about was among my immediate gut-level responses to your post.

I hope you will find safe homes for the dogs and then get out yourself. Last year, after being a dog owner for 30 years, I found loving homes for my 2 pets, simply bec. I was seriously depressed. I could barely take care of myself, and I believed that I owed it to them to provide something better for them.

All your work on this relationship will come to nothing if Jon isn't willing to work on his behaviors. And yes, violence always escalates.

Please let us know how you are doing. I am concerned for you.