Hello Inky --

I have mixed feelings about pot. I am a former user, but I've been "clean and sober" for a long time.

One bonafide research finding about marijuana use is that it decreases motivation when used regularly. This is the downside of being "relaxed." One can be so relaxed that one no longer cares enough to do anything about a predicament such as homelessness.

So I would say that it's one thing for an attorney whose working 60 hours a week to use pot on a weekend now and then, but it's another thing for someone who has serious problems to solve (such as homelessness) to use it routinely.

He should not smoke in your presence if you don't like it as a simple matter of courtesy. However, I also concerned about the LT effects it may have on his motivation to get his life straightened out.

I can understand how attractive it must be to have someone to comfort you at this difficult time. But I hope you will protect yourself from becoming involved with someone who may wind up dragging you down. Soon you may be carrying his problems as well as yours if a strong bond develops.

I don't want to say "you deserve" better about a man I don't know -- though the inclination is there.

I hope that you will think about what your needs and boundaries are. What kind of progress would you want to see in him -- with deadlines and specific goals he must obtain? Hold back from commitment and protect your heart.