Thank you for your reply, Mysterious!

I know what you mean about liking that men think differently. I think on one level I like that, but on another level, I am jealous of it too. I also hate feeling like the weaker sex physically. I think it bothers me. I often wonder if it is a pride thing. As a result, I refuse to get involved. I think that sounds pretty messed up.

As for my emotional closeness to gfs, it isn't with all women and it isn't physical. It's starts as some feeling that I get (usually with one particular person) and then fixate on. Then, I begin to play out stories in my mind of what it would be like to be their boyfriend. Much of that seems to be about having a connection in which I get to care for that person.

Believe it or not, I am not that young in age. I am approaching middle age. While I worried and worried about these issues most of my life, I was always too afraid to really talk about them. I would have periods of crisis in which I would have a meltdown about it. Then, I'd have to distract myself from it all to get myself together and move forward. Eventually, I put it to rest by telling myself that it was only one part of life and that because I was getting older it didn't matter much anymore. I've been in that mindset for awhile. In a way, it's been good because I think it has helped to lessen my fear of it all and allowed me to talk more about it. On the other hand, I've put off really dealing with it or resolving anything.

So, thanks again for your reply! Take Care!