I've posted something like this before, i brought up how difficult it is to have my adhd and socialize with other people at times for certain reasons. Recently i've been extremely reluctant on making new friends or talking to others that i would have usually talked to. there's many reasons cause of this, i've been feeling overwhelmed and have been loosing a lot if self confidence in myself but blah blah whatever. also, a huge reason

i've been acting like this is because i've just been feeling inadequate to others. i feel like my best isn't really goo enough, and ik that i'm doing a lot of begative thinking and not puting myself out there so let people get to know me, but it's just been really difficult. especially when you have put yourself out there in the past, only to be put down or humilated.

also, i struggle with social anxiety, and i'm not diagnosed for this but i might also have an avoidance disorder cause i tend to have many of those symptoms as well.

i tend to use examples alot of things that have happend to me, it just helps me vent and try to get over things. but there was this one time when i was camping at with a youth group I regularly went to in senior high school. when we had areived to the campsite, i had accidently grabbed only one of my suicases instead of both and when i got to the cabin, i told one of the girls living with me that i forgot a bag.

i asked one of them if they could come to the bus and walk with me or at least let me know how i can get back to the bus area. i remember them kind of awkwardly looking at me (they never were mean to me, it just seemed like they were suprised or like "that sucks" look idk).

we eventually found a counselor to tell us how to get to the bus, and said that we had to take a 2 min ride from this other counselor cause it would be faster. and were riding with them to the bus and i tried making conversation "aren't you guys cold? i aee you're only wearing a shirt and shorts" cause it was winter camp and there was snow everywhere. but the counselor's response was "well you're the one who forgot their suitcase" ugh i'll never forget that. it fricking sucks. i wish this stuff didn't bother me. idk

idk, im venting but i aslo wonder if this is all just me. i'm open to socializing and i want to make friends, advice would be nice, i just want to feel like i'm not a screw up