It went well. They are willing to let me attempt the dual diagnosis group instead of DBT... the main concern is that my issues (self harm and su feelings) are considered more severe than what is usually dealt with in that group. But it is process, which is more what I need.

Also, I had an emergency appt with my pdoc Friday. I normally do not cry at all. And if I do, I do everything possible to not do it in front of people. So, my pdoc (a resident, in the last part of rotations) got to the part about su feelings, and went thru the questions, and I answered. Do you have a plan? Yes. What would you do? *I answer* Clarification to see how serious? *I answer* and he proceeds to put the laptop down on the desk next to him, moves his chair closer, hands me the tissue box, and I couldn't hold the tears in anymore. I felt vulnerable at the time, and anxious after, but not to the point that I won't go to the next appt.

Idk, I kind of felt that he genuinely cared and was actually concerned. Not like, this is his job. I get that it is, and that if it came to it, he would absolutely put me in hosp against my will, but it felt like he was really listening and wants to help, not just because it's a job.

I still feel pretty awful, honsetly. Severely depressed, and feeling su. It's just so hard to talk to people irl. I don't know how most of them would react, and it's scary... and I am doing everything I can to not numb chemically...