Quote:
Originally Posted by imtrying
My apologies if I have mistakenly sent this message before. It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (treatment resistant) and severe anxiety. I’ve been on multiple meds, ECT, and CBT. There has been improvement, not enough to return to work or do volunteer work. My psychiatrist cautioned me that my depression might get worse as winter approaches. It has. I’ve also developed a new problem. I’ve become very sensitive to imagined rejection. I keep thinking that my adult sons, boyfriend, mother, are annoyed with me and are distancing themselves from me. The truth is I have a very loving and supportive family. This feeling of rejection started about two months ago. I scrutinize every text, every conversation for unhappiness with my behavior or actions so I can correct immediately and avoid losing them. Has this happened to you? Will it go away with the change of seasons? Any information or advice would be appreciated.
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Hi imtrying ,
Thank you for posting , I havnt been around PC a lot but yours was the first post that I read and it turns out that I identify with you a lot.
Were about the same age and we have about the same problems. I'm just going to comment on certain points you raised.
You say you were diagnosed three years ago. One difference that we do have though is that I've had to deal with depression basically a lot longer. I know exactly what your going through.
You also mention physical problems which I also can relate to and it can play a big role in how you feel.
I also feel "overly sensitive" and have gone through the gamut of different treatments. In short , if you can learn to use your "rational brain" more than your "emotional brain" you will be able to subdue those overly sensitive feelings which are controlling your WHOLE brain right now. I never thought rationally. Always with my feelings. Idealistically you can combine the two equally. This can be done. But right now you are in a trial and error period.
To find what works for you may take time but you have to hang in there.
My personal experience , not advice, is that you should never have to apologize or "watch what you say" to your family or anyone. Is that the only reason you have family support is because you can't be YOU ? Sorry to say but maybe those feelings of rejection that you are experiencing ARE REAL.
Now I don't blame you for not wanting to lose your family. I know how it feels to lose all support. And I mean ALL. But my experience is that you should prepare yourself so that if you lose that support you will be able to carry on.
Not being able to work or do things because you are physically or/and mentally ill can have a devastateing impact on your psyche. It is VERY hard to learn how to cope with that , but you must. My suggestion , and it's only because I was/am in the same boat as you, is to make YOURSELF the priority
and not waste time trying to people please others. In my experience that only hinders a heathy recovery and ability to learn how to deal with YOUR situation FIRST and then worry about others , family included. Why ? Beacause , for me , the inability to learn how to deal with my personal feelings brought me to the edge of the cliff. And there was nobody there to stop me from going off
but MYSELF.
The lesson here is put yourself first at all costs. So if you unfortunately lose support from your family and the world in general, you will be able to stay alive and bounce back, being stronger than ever before. It will not be easy.
But it can be done.
Wishing you the best
